Randomnessness
by AshTheDeathBat
Summary: Pre HBP. this may not make any sense at all. ah..well it's humor. It's not supposed to make sense. REVIEW!Chapter 3 is up and running! Click on this... don't pass this funny story up!
1. Chapter 1

EWI-This is endowed with insanity.

DNL-This is LOTRDomnLijFreak.

EWI- we are co-writing a story. I'm really not sure what the plot is. Ashley hasn't decided yet.

DNL- IT'S PLOTLESS AND POINTLESS!

EWI- right.

Disclaimer:

EWI- We are not JK Rowling.

DNL- I AM!

EWI-um…no

DNL- your right

* * *

"Eye of newt!"

"Ashley, there's no eye of newt in this potion."

"EYE OF NEWT!"

Kacy slapped her palm to her head. Sometimes Ashley could be so…Ashley like. (EWI- I couldn't think of a better word…other than guacamole.)

"Stop it you two or I'll put you in the corner!" Snape bellowed (DNL- That's a cool word!)

"Sorry professor," Kacy and Ashley said at the same time.

Snape turned and walked toward Neville Longbottom. Once Ashley thought he was out of hearing distance she started yelling again.

"EYE OF NEWT!"

Snape walked towards their table and looked at the two girls.

Kacy and Ashley smiled at Snape stupidly. Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Ashley…Whatever the heck your last name is! Go stand in the corner!"

"Corner is my middle name!" Ashley happily skipped to her corner.

Snape went back to teaching until Ashley started singing.

"Row, row, row your…cauldron! Gently down the slime…"

"Miss…" Snape had absolutely no clue what Ashley's last name was.

"Ashley," said Kacy.

"Miss Ashley! Please be quiet!"

Snape started teaching class once again.

"Now add blah blah blah…"

"MARCO!" Kacy yelled throwing her hands into the air.

"POLO!" Ashley turned away from her corner.

Kacy and Ashley started to run around in circles until Hermione turned her head all the way around and suffocated herself.

Ron fell to his knees and screamed up to the sky. "NOOOOO!"

Hermione came back to life because Ashley smacked her head back around.

"Cool." Ron said.

"YARGH!" Snape yelled, "Class dismissed!"

"Lunch! Yay! We're going to lunch! Lunch! Yay! We're going to lunch! Lunch! Yay! We're going to lunch!" Kacy sang as she and Ashley skipped to lunch.

Once they got to the Great Hall they stopped and wondered where to sit.

"Lets sit with the Hufflepuff's!" Ashley said.

"No! the Slytherins!" Kacy argued.

"Hufflepuffs!"

"Slytherins!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

Kacy and Ashley sat with the Hufflepuffs, but they kicked them out because they were too cool. Then they sat with the Slytherins, but they kicked them out because…hey they're Gryffindors. Kacy and Ashley finally found somewhere to sit…

"YAAAAYYYY!"

…with the Ravenclaws.

"YAAAAYYYY!" Kacy and Ashley clapped and cheered for no apparent reason. Cho Chang seemed annoyed and somewhat scared. Luna seemed amused. Everyone else just stared.

"FOODFIGHT!" Ashley screamed at the top of her lungs and threw some mushy stuff at Cho because she's a stupid prep and deserves to die. (DNL- sorry Cho fans.)

Everyone else ate. Ashley couldn't because she threw all of her food.

"I'm hungry!" Ashley said.

"Have some broccoli," a random person said.

Kacy and Ashley fainted in fear.

* * *

EWI- and there's chapter one.

DNL- EWI sounds like kiwi!

EWI- …

A monkey- REVIEW!

EWI- WE accept flames. They amuse us. Because we'll probably just yell at you. WE'RE COOL!


	2. DANCING!

Chappie 2: DANCING!

WARNING: THIS CHAPPIE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DANCING.

Disclaimeer: (it's cooler with 2 e's!) We do not own Harry Potter.

EWI: My mommy just sprayed the computer with cleaning stuff!

DNL: It's rainbowy!

Kacy and Ashley woke up in the middle of the Great Hall after fainting.

Kacy checked her watch.

"What time is it?" Ashley asked.

"It's a freckle past a hair," Kacy replied. (EWI: that means it's 12:30 AM!)

"Daaannnggggg…that's late!"

"The prefects will be a comin' soon," Kacy said.

"YAYYYY!" Ashley rejoiced.

"Not 'yay'," Kacy said.

"Not 'yay'?"

"Not 'yay'."

"So I can't say 'yay'?" Ashley asked.

"Nope," Kacy said.

"Awwwwww," Ashley cried.

Suddenly Kacy and Ashley heard a loud thump…or a thud.

"Wow! A thud...or thump!" Ashley clapped.

"YAY!" Kacy said.

"How come you can say yay?" Ashley questioned. (DNL: another cool word!)

"Because I…"

"Okay!" Ashley thought that was fair enough.

Kacy stood up, "Let's go see what made that thump…or thud."

"Okay!"

Yet again there was another thud…thump…THING… behind them.

"Hmmmmmmmmm…" Kacy said, "My senses tell me that the thing that made that sound is somewhere behind us!"

"Well let's walk toward it!" Ashley said, up for an adventure.

They walked toward the thud-thump-thing and saw the trio standing there looking at the ground.

"Do you know it's a freckle past a hair?" Kacy said.

The trio (DNL-Cool word! Cool Word!) just stared at Kacy and Ashley.

Kacy eventually broke the silence.

"I LOVE YOU BRETT!" Kacy yelled.

Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ashley looked around for Brett.

"Who's Brett?" Hermione asked.

"Brett," Kacy answered.

"Who's Brett?" Harry asked.

"Brett," Kacy said.

"Who's Brett?" Ron asked.

"YOU'RE CUTE! I LOVE YOU!" Kacy glomped Ron.

A random dog comes and attacks Ron.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ron screamed.

"Look a dog!" Ashley said, and pulled the dog off Ron.

"Thanks," Ron said.

"Here," Ashley said, throwing the dog back on Ron.

"AHHHH!" Ron said screaming and running around the Great Hall attempting to get the dog off himself.

"Anyway," Kacy stated(DNL-YAY more coolness in words!) "What's on the ground, an artichoke?"

"No," A random voice from nowhere said, "it's a trap door."

Harry looked at the ceiling searching for the source of the voice.

Ashley threw a rock at Harry's head.

"So a trap door, eh?" Ashley said in an innocent voice.

"Umm…yeah," Ron said.

"Are you going into the trapdoor?" Ashley said.

"Yes," The trio said together.

"I WANNA GO!" Kacy and Ashley yelled at the same time. Ashley ripped open the door and the two girls jumped into the hole.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Ashley and Kacy sounded as though they were falling for a long time…even though the trapdoor was only seven feet deep.

"SPLAT!" Kacy yelled after about ten minutes of yelling 'weee.'

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at each other like the Ashley and Kacy were crazy. After a moment of freaked-out-i-ness they used the ladder to climb into the hole.

Ashley asked, "Guys…where are we?"

EWI: END OF CHAPPIE!

DNL: YAY! I LIKE LOST!

EWI: YOU'RE WEIRD! CAPS RULE!

REVIEW(S):

Rupert Grint is SO cute- EWI: YES! RUPERT IS SOOOOO FINE! PLOTLESS-NESS RULE!


	3. Possum

DNL-We're updating!

EWI-WOOT!

DNL- Ok here we go!

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter. We do own a calculator that Ashley is keeping track of all of the words we type.

* * *

Chapter 3: Possum

So the trio and Ashley and Kacy were in a dark hole.

"Its dark!" Kacy exclaimed.

"I can light a light bulb with my tongue!" Ashley said.

"Good for you?" Ron said, confused by the whole situation.

"Posssummm." Kacy said.

"I met a possum!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Good for you?" Hermione said.

"Stop fooling around and come on!" the Harry said.

" 'the' Harry?" Kacy asked the authors even though she was one of them.

"Yes 'the' Harry! Now shut up and act out this pointless story that no one is reviewing!" Kacy screamed at herself.

So Kacy, Ashley, Hermione, the sexy redhead named Ron, and 'the' Harry began walking…but they only went about two feet because they all ran into a wall. Ron bounced backwards and ran into a spider web.

"GAHH!" Ron yelped (DNL: Cool word!) and hugged Hermione hoping she would protect him.

"I love spiders!" Hermione said, hugging Ron.

"I love potatoes!" Kacy exclaimed.

"I ran into a wall!" Ashley yelled making the wall crumble and a door appeared.

"Magicful!" Kacy yelled, causing the door to crumble.

They went inside the now crumbled door and found a tooth.

"That's a big tooth." Ashley said.

"Potato." Kacy mumbled.

"What?" 'the' Harry said.

"What?" Kacy said.

"You said something." 'the' Harry said.

"No I didn't." Kacy replied.

"Yes you did!" 'the' Harry said back angrily.

"Didn't!"

"Did"

"DIDN'T!"

"DID"

"DIDN'T"

"POSSSSSUMMMM!"

Everyone looked at Ashley.

"What?" she said.

"You said something." Ron said.

"No I didn't." Ashley replied.

They all started fighting, occasionally falling asleep here or there, until…

"SILENCE!" a booming voice said.

"Who was that?" A possum that was just wandering by said.

"It is I, Bernard." Bernard said.

"Where are you ?" Ashley asked.

"MARCO!" Kacy screamed.

"POLO!" Ashley yelled back.

"SHUT UP!" Bernard yelled, during the exciting game of Marco Polo.

They realized that the tooth was Bernard.

"Hey, Bernard, if you're a tooth… why can you talk? I mean teeth don't have mouths, they live in them. Is there a cavity you talk through or something?" Ashley questioned.

"Are you an eyetooth? Can you see though your eye on your tooth? Can my eyeteeth see? " Kacy asked Bernard.

"QUITE! Let the man… erm… tooth speak!" 'the' Harry said.

"Thank you. As I was saying, until I was interrupted by the annoying and yet, exciting ,game of Marco Polo, I am Bernard." He said.

"Ummm…. YEAH! You told us that already." Ashley said, slightly annoyed with Bernard.

Bernard ignored Ashley.

"The mighty Bernard has advice for thee." Bernard said, mystically.

"We don't NEED your advice how to brush our teeth!" Kacy said.

"I'm not going…" Bernard started, but was interrupted by Ashley.

"The Ashley says 'CLICK'." Ashley said, mimicking those see and say things.

"I'm not…" Bernard started again, but was interrupted again.

"The Kacy says 'Possssummm'." Kacy said.

"Come on, Let blow this pop stand!" Ashley exclaimed.

Ashley and Kacy pushed open the door opposite from the one they came in.

"Ok." 'the' Harry said. (DNL- My apostrophe thingy won't work…DEAL WITH IT!)

The trio gave each other a look, then looked at the hallway, which had the voices of Kacy and Ashley echoing.

"CLICK"

"MARCO!"

"QUACK!"

"BLAH!"

"MOOOOO!"

"POSSSSSUMMMM!"

"ELEVEN!"

The sexy redhead and ummm… the other two, looked at each other again and sighed.

"Come on." Ron said.

"WAIT! I didn't give you my advice!" Bernard said.

"Yeah, yeah we know. Brush and floss at least two times a day." Hermione said.

They left and started walking out and saw Kacy standing, there waiting for them. Ashley jumped out of the shadows.

"CLICK! Ha ha you've been clicked!" She screamed as she poked 'the' Harry.

"Yeah, yeah, come on." ' the Harry said.

And with that, they started down the path.

* * *

EWI- There you go. And the final count of words are… Ashley?

DNL- (looks at calculator) Error. CRAP! That's too few!

EWI- Friggin' idiot! You forgot to carry that one!

DNL- Erm… no… I… didn't?

A Possum: REVIEW!

DNL- Remember… Reviews are lovely and… flames are (twitch) TOO COOL!


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